Why Comparison is Holding You Back

Are you guilty of looking at ‘fitspo’ or thinking that constantly looking at fit people will give you the motivation you are lacking? Or drive you to push harder in the gym and be more consistent with your nutrition?

What if I told you that “looking up to” those people or using them as “inspo” is actually holding you back mentally and physically from reaching your goals or making the changes you want?

I bet deep down, you’d believe me.

Most of the time you avoid comparing yourself to people who are clearly out of your league… or they are clearly out of yours. Such as a professional athlete or a bodybuilder with a perfectly sculpted body.

However, your self-esteem takes a huge hit when you think someone who’s smarter, stronger, and more good-looking than you is actually achievable in terms of you getting to their level.

Social media can be DANGEROUS - because you feel like these ‘unachievable’ standards are achievable. These influencers or people you look up to almost feel like your friends - like you know them. Little do you know that 1) it is their LIFE to upkeep this certain physique, diet, or level of athleticism (they are PAID for this) and 2) their body type and physical features are different from yours - they were born this way (well… most of the time).

When you compare yourself to someone who you feel is above your level, you actually downgrade your evaluation of your own appearance, this is called ‘upward physical appearance comparison.’ Have you ever compared your own body to those at an event or place where there were very attractive or ideal bodies? Such as at the gym or beach? (yeah… even I am guilty!)

But guess what… this ‘fitspo’ you look at or your constant comparison can lead to higher self-judgment, higher isolation, and higher overidentification.

If you find that you’re guilty of constantly comparing yourself to others - and have found that in fact, it has NOT motivated you in any way to become a better version of yourself, I encourage you to do the following:

1. Do a social media audit - unfollow people who you constantly find yourself comparing to, or striving to be - I remember doing this WAY back when I first started my fitness journey and it was freeing as all hell and these people stopped showing up on my news feed every time I opened my app. Unless the people you follow bring you a sense of compassion or self-confidence or aid in your personal growth or development - unfollow them!

2. Be nicer to yourself - get out your gratitude journal and write out ALL the things you are grateful for in terms of your own mental and physical self. The other day with my coach I found myself complaining about how slowly I am making body composition changes, and I quickly changed this dialogue into ‘wow, I need to be more grateful about how f*cking amazing my body is and what it does for me - I take my body for granted every single day. I am healthy and that in itself is a blessing.”

3. Keep your circle close and fill it up with friends and family who love you for YOU, not what you look like. The same goes for friends who constantly talk about their weight or how they look or how much better they wish they were (sidenote: are YOU ever this friend?) - this can lead to your own toxic thoughts.

Moral of the story: comparison is the thief of joy. We all want more joy in our lives. So cut out those thoughts, influencers, or people who are deep down taking that joy away from you.